I saw my Pdoc the other day. Which reminds me, I have to call the office today because my refill didn’t get to the pharmacy.
I ended up unleashing more than I usually do with him. It was decided then I have issues and I need to start dealing with them rather than trying to compartmentalize them away in a sealed vault. It’s not as sturdy of a vault as I had imagined.
I have mentioned more than once about the monster. And maybe that’s why the vault isn’t holding up. Talking about awful things from the past is bringing forth awful feelings which is why I have felt therapy may not be beneficial for everyone. But I don’t have such a great track record with therapy so…
There is a psychologist that works with people like me as well as other marriage and family categories. His fee is 195 per 50 minute session. He was recommended to me from my first Pdoc, but I only saw him a few times and he is the one who said he thought maybe my Pdoc’s diagnosis of Bipolar was incorrect. My Pdoc was furious and “fired” me. I went on for 3 years unmedicated and without instance until I got depressed and was prescribed Zoloft by a different practitioner. Within 3-4 months, I was running manic. My Pdoc was very proud to shove into the psychologist’s face that I was in fact Bipolar and he was right all along. His words were, “I can’t wait to tell **** he was wrong!”
I think based on my past and how my relationship with sex and intimacy developed over time, I need to see someone about it. This psychologist is a man, and I am not sure if that will pose an issue for me or not. But my track record with women therapists hasn’t been very good.