Daughter

In my about page, I mention that Nora Elise is a name I made up for if I ever had a daughter. I am almost 32 and have yet to find that prince charming so it’s not looking promising.

If I could be frank, it kind of sucks. For the longest time, I put up this childfree front. Kids weren’t for me. I’d be more exhausted than other exhausted parents because I am selfish and like my time. I like the luxury of doing what I want when I want and the freedom from responsibility of possibly being the reason a kid’s in therapy. This world is annoyingly populated as it is, why add more?

I have been guilty for saying those things and I am sure so much more. But the truth of the matter is, I really wish I could have a daughter. And I couldn’t tell you why a daughter over a son. I love children of all genders and give equal attention and play with any and all kids, even the ones I’m not fond of. Hey, they are people, too and it is very possible that you can dislike a kid as you would an adult. Just putting that out there.

All of my friends have children except Joss because she just turned 20 and at almost 32, that’s a baby to me. Of course when I was 20 I felt grown and had an almost baby. But looking at 20 year olds from where I am standing now… I can’t tell them apart from teenagers. True story.

When I was with Tim, he had a daughter and a son. One of each like American Dream kinda families typically hope for. Vally, the daughter, was the cutest, sweetest, funniest little girl. Victor, the son, I liked as well, but for a lot of the time Tim and I were together, Victor was missing his mom and wanted his parents to get back together so I took the route of not pushing myself on him. I would let him approach me and be openly receptive. Vally was too young to understand her parents being separated. Tim did think I preferred Vally over Victor.

When Brea and I were good friends and hanging out a lot, her daughter Ella was a babe in diapers. She didn’t talk yet, had just started crawling, and she was so adorable. Her son Patrick was funny, smart, witty, and a big jokester. And his laugh would crack anyone up. Brea still noticed I had preference for Ella.

For some reason unbeknownst to me, I don’t feel as much of a connection with the sons of my friends that I do with their daughters. And it’s similar in my friendships with adults. I value my girlfriends more than my guy friends. I guess I am what Brittany Gibbons and Meredith Soleau talk about in their podcast Girls’ Girls. I am a certified 100% Girl’s Girl.

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